The dreaded grocery store

I had to go shopping. And I'm not talking like it could be put off for a day or two, I'm talking nothing in the cupboards besides cereal. And while the children can subsist on cereal alone, I cannot. So I waited until the most amount of children were in school, and I went to the grocery store. Sadly, this means I still had Katherine and Odessa.

Now it is important to understand that this shopping trip is on the heels of a very long night during which Odessa felt the need to be awake for two hours. So a sleep deprived mom, a one year old and a three year old went to the store. Not a recipe for success.

We walk in and Katherine immediately goes to the cart that the kids can sit in the front and drive. And while it is a fabulous idea, it only works for children who sit still. Still is not in our vocabulary, apparently. So I veto the cart and go for a regular old boring cart, to which there was much gnashing of teeth. The first ten minutes were fine. We survived the produce section, though I quickly discovered that the cart I chose veered the the left. Annoying, but not the end of the world.

By the time we hit the dairy section, Odessa had had enough of this sitting down business, and had decided to stand up in the cart. And she doesn't just stand, she dances, or points or squeals. There is no still in her little body. So I sit her down, for the first of many times and she proceeds to get mad and kick her shoe off. Then she says "uh-oh" until I get her shoe. The rest of our shopping trip consisted of this:

1. Katherine asking me if she can have this, please, please, please, pleeeeaaaassssseeee!
2. Odessa making everyone fear for her life by standing up in the cart.
3. When let down to walk, tearing pricetags off of things or pulling things off shelves, or pushing the cart into things. She's a strong little bugger.
4. Katherne hanging on the cart while doing gymnastic feats.
5. Me holding Odessa while she screams and trying to push cart one handed. Cart veered worse the more that was in it.
6. Odessa being friendly to the other shoppers.
7. Odessa biting Katherine.
8. Katherine screaming.

We did survive, though barely. The shopping part is only half the battle, now I have to put the groceries away. I bought myself some M&M's for a consolation prize, I turned on the TV and I put Odessa down for a nap. It seems to be helping, but unfortunately I still have laundry to do and a house to clean. Calgon....take me away!!!

You have to pick your battles

Those are wise words and ones I have to remember often with Miss Katherine. Katherine started preschool this year, and after a trying two weeks of getting her to school at 9a.m., I begged and pleaded and they switched us to a 10a.m. class. (Actually, I came in 15 minutes late, disheveled, in my pj's and said, "This isn't working!!" I think they believed me!) Ten is much better, but we still struggle some mornings.

Friday was one of those days. She came down bright and early in her new BYU T-shirt, that, while cute, looks like a dress especially when she wears shorts, which she was. I didn't say anything until it was time to go to school. Let's just say she looked very cute in her T-shirt/dress at school. It was obviously not a battle that was worth fighting, and so I chose not to. I did win the war over doing her hair, though. So at least she didn't look like a total orphan!

About a month ago, I bought Katherine a new princess crown. She wore it continuously for several days. On Sunday, after doing her hair, what did she put on? You guessed it, her princess crown. She proudly wore it to church and we got many comments on her beautiful crown. It was yet another battle not worth fighting. And what little girl doesn't want to feel like a princess anyway!?!

So my message of the day is to pick your battles carefully!

The honeymoon is over!

Two days of school and the novelty has officially worn off. Monday and Tuesday the kids were ready a good twenty minutes before the bus came. Today, not so much.

I coerced them through breakfast, which only one of them finished. I sent them to get dressed, brush teeth, and comb hair with only fifteen minutes till bus time. I had to stand in the hallway, knock on doors multiple times, beg and plead, to get them ready for school. Lillie had wardrobe issues, as did Michael. Luckily the boys' hair takes all of two seconds and a little water. Lillie almost got to go to school looking like an orphan child. But alas, we were able to squeeze a braid in at the last second. They raced out to the bus stop, and although they weren't first, they still made it on the bus.(Being first is top priority at my house!)

Homework novelty has also worn off, though that didn't take as long to lose it's appeal. Imagine that! We are now to the begging, pleading and bribing to get homework done stage. It's one of the things I could do without! (Odessa's idea of homework is to chew on books and spit out the cardboard. She learns through osmosis!)

But the novelty has not worn off for mom. I love school. I love my children too, but yay for school! The house is quiet, or relatively so, for a few hours. I may get something done, or I may lay on the couch and hope I don't lose my breakfast. (Oh the joys of pregnancy!)

A broken record

I was a broken record yesterday. So were the children, for that matter. These are the things that came out of my mouth 400 times yesterday. "No, you cannot play the DS. No. No you can't have a Dora sippy. No you can't play with friends. Do your homework. Eat your food. Go play. Yes, please play with friends. Fold your laundry. Do your chores." Now if you multiply each statement by 400, then you will know what I did all day.

It all started innocently enough, but by the end of the day I was ready to strangle various children. Katherine wanted to play Lillie's Nintendo DS. But when she got it out, we discovered it needed to be charged. So I plugged it in and told her she could play it later. This is how it went:

2 minutes later
Katherine: Is it charged yet?
Me:No. It takes a long time. Go play.

1 minute later
Katherine: Is it charged now?
Me: No, Katherine, I said it takes a long time. Now go find something else to do.
Katherine: Oh, ok. Can I have a Dora sippy?
Me: No you already had one.
Katherine: No I didn't.
(Insert dirty look from mom.)
Katherine: Mom, can I play the DS yet?
Me: No. Don't ask me again. You can't play it till after lunch.

30 seconds later
Katherine: Is it after lunch yet?
Me: (While pulling my hair out) No, and if you ask me again, I won't let you play it at all.

2 minutes later
Katherine: (whispering) Can I play it yet?
Me: (much exasperation) No and now you don't get to play it at all today.

Thus ensued many tears, gnashing and whaling of teeth and other trauma. Did it stop her from asking me anymore? No, she asked me all day long.

As other children came home, the pattern continued. Michael asked me forty billion times if he could play with friends. By the end of the day I was begging him to play with friends. I, of course, had to repeat my pleas to Andrew and Lillie to either eat their dinner, do their chores, or finish homework.

I'm hoping today is better. I've hidden the DS from sight and I've started making children repeat things I say to them. It's not really helping, but at least I know they heard me.

"If we're chickens..."

"Then you must be married to a rooster" says Michael the other day. We had just visited the farm and apparently that inspired the above comment. Thus ensued a vigorous conversation about who in the family was a chicken and who was a rooster. It was riveting, let me tell ya.

But I must admit, I'm a weird mom. I call my children chickens. It's true. I also call them variations of turkey-head, monkey-butt, turkey-lurkey and any other possible combination of the above words. I get looks from people whose children are 'sweetheart' and 'darling', but I know they secretly want to join me in calling their children chicken-butt. Because sometimes, they are just chicken-butts!

Since I've admitted my weirdness, I'll confess another. I do weird things with my children. I sing them perverted versions of several songs, I make weird noises at them and with them, I dance goofy. Yeah, I'm just weird. The worst is when I forget not to be weird in public. I figure I just give people a good laugh, but still, sometimes I embarrass myself.

The other day I had Odessa with me at the grocery store. That in and of itself is a trying experience. I was attempting to entertain her so she wouldn't do the whole climb out of the cart thing, so I start spitting. I know, not very lady-like, but she loves it. So we spit at each other for a minute and then I growled at her and she giggled. (At least I call it a growl, it was really more like a possessed person's growl followed by same person's strange laugh.) I look up and see an old man with a look on his face that read something like, "Lady, you are one strange mamma."

I was mildly embarrassed but just ignored him. And although I refrained from anymore weird growling, I did continue to spit with my daughter. I know, I'm weird. But honestly, sometimes a little embarrassment is worth it if it keeps the baby in the cart!

My little entrepreneurs

What is a kid to do when their mean old mom says they can't have yet another lemonade stand. Well, in my house, that is by no means the end of things you can sell. Apparently, my children have caught their father's entrepreneurial spirit. Earlier this summer, Michael collected a baggie full of BB pellets that had been discarded all over our neighborhood park. He quickly took them to the neighbor boy, who he knew to have a BB gun, and sold the pellets to him. They were likely his to begin with!!

But yeserday, after their lemonade efforts were thwarted once again by mean old mom, Lillie and Michael began to color picture after picture. I asked them what they were up to and they informed me that they were going to have a picture stand. I laughed and we went on a walk a little later. They took their pictures and ended up playing with a friend for a while. Their silly mother thought they had forgotten all about their little project. As I was chatting with their friend's mother, they told me they were going to start home. They beat me home, but were giddy by the time I made it home. Michael starts excitedly telling me all the money they made on the way home. Apparently, they went door to door selling their pictures on the way home. They were up bright and early this morning coloring their little hearts out. That'll teach me to say no to a lemonade stand!! Oh, my little entrepreneurs!

Let's play I spy...

I spy a three letter word that starts with the letter S. It's on the front page, but don't strain yourself, it shouldn't be too hard to find. Once you find it, leave me a comment, but don't give it away to others. If it's too hard, I'll post another hint later...Have fun!