Confessions of a grownup

Hi. My name is Stacey. I'm 32 and I'm a grownup. I have six kids, two cats and a turtle, a husband and a mortgage. I'm supposed to know the answers to everything from where everyone put their stuff to why cows are named cows. On the road to being a grownup, someone forgot to tell me that I was supposed to know everything too.

The funny thing about being a grownup is that it looks like more fun than it really is. When I was a kid, I thought it would be the BEST! I would get to stay up as late as I wanted and nobody could tell me what to do. Now that I'm a grownup, I wish I could go to bed at 9 instead of wrangling the baby till midnight and sometimes, I really wish someone would just tell me what to do so I don't have to figure it out. Life is full of irony.

I'm not sure I really want to be a kid again, but some days, I'm jealous of the freedom of childhood. The ability to disappear outside for hours playing games and doing nothing. Having nothing to worry about except whether or not you'll get in trouble because you forgot to do your chore. There is magic to childhood.

I don't like to do laundry or pay bills. I hate mowing the lawn. (At least I've retained something from my childhood. Only now, I can't use my hayfever to get out of it.) I don't like cleaning and I don't make my bed. I'm not terribly organized and there's so many things I don't know. In fact, I think I know less the older I get. I still love to read, but have to neglect children in order to do it. I stay up too late and am tired too much. I don't really know what I'm doing in raising children, and I hope they aren't horrified when they figure that out.

Grownups are really just children in big bodies.

Lately, I've been happily willing to give up my status as a grownup. Someone else can take my job for a while. I'm ready for a month in Hawaii with no responsibility. Too bad that's not how life works. Now if THAT is what being a grownup was all about, I'd be all for it! Unfortunately, being a grownup dictates that you have to do such things as pay bills and be responsible and crap. No hiatus to Hawaii. Bummer.

But to end on a positive note, there are some really cool things about all the responsibility of being a grownup. Like watching your kids learn to do amazing things. Or continuing to grow up with your spouse. Or discovering hobbies you never thought you'd have.(For me that's been gardening. Who knew?) Or snuggling that baby that FINALLY fell asleep!

Now if I could just figure out how to only have all the good parts of being a grownup and leave behind all the boring crappy parts!