Messy Monday

This week, I bring you Messy Monday times two! Aren't you excited? I bet you are on the edge of your seat! The first part of Messy Monday comes in celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday. After all that yummy food, it has to go somewhere and I know many of us have done miraculous things with our refrigerators in an effort to fit all the leftovers in. Don't lie. You know your fridge looks something like this:



When I was trying to decide what to post for Messy Monday (I always have LOTS of options) my son informed me I should post a picture of the fridge. I disagreed, saying that it's not messy, it's merely full. However, I can see where he's coming from. To the untrained eye, it looks pretty bad.

The next mess is a constant thorn in my side. My desk. It is the catch-all. If we are cleaning and a child brings me something I don't know what to do with, it goes on my desk. There are CD's, piles of bills and who knows what else lurking on my desk. I do clean it off every so often, but it re-accumulates rather quickly.



Where's your mess this lovely Monday?

The Human Vacuum

The baby is crawling. I told her there was no rush, but she didn't listen to me. The pull to follow her siblings was far too great.

With crawling comes one of my least favorite phases of babyhood. The Human Vacuum phase. I can barely get the baby to eat solids, so I figured she wouldn't be one that put many things in her mouth. Apparently, paper tastes better than applesauce.

A couple of days ago I went to nurse her. She began gagging, so I sat her up and she smiled at me. So I tried again. Again she started to gag. I swept her mouth with my finger and there was paper stuck to the roof of her mouth. Poor baby. Sweet potatoes don't compare with tidbits off the floor either.

When my older kids were little, it was easier to keep dangerous things off the floor. Now I have to be on the lookout for legos and k'nex. Even if I banish all small objects to the upstairs, they find their way down. Little mice appear in the night and spread them through the house. I'm sure of it.

I am now diligently vacuuming and sweeping. This diligence will last until the baby quits putting absolutely everything in her mouth. Then we'll go back to our usual filth.

For now, we are all on the lookout for the Human Vacuum and what she puts in her mouth.

Random Thanksgiving thoughts

1. Children think it's a good Thanksgiving when they are allowed to eat popcorn balls for dinner.

2. Nap time should be required and arranged by the household in which Thanksgiving dinner is held. Babysitting should be provided.

3. If the toddler wants to drink milk all day, let her.

4. TV may be used as crowd control for the 20 plus children in attendance.

5. If you can't find Dad, he's probably taking a nap.

6. Having your wedding anniversary on Thanksgiving is anti-climatic. And no, we didn't do anything for our anniversary. That's what 12 years does to you.

7. Eat turkey until you need to loosen your pants. The 5K you ran in the morning does not allow you to eat more, it only allows you to feel less guilty when you do.

8. Your house will still look like a tornado struck it upon returning. Just be glad you weren't hosting the party this year.

9. When returning home late at night, put the toddler in her PJ's even if she is unconscious. Otherwise, she will wake up at the crack of dawn and INSIST on wearing her PJ's. You have two choices at this point: insanity, or put the blasted PJ's on her.

10. When it all comes down to it, if everything you own was gone tomorrow, you would still have what is most important: your family. And for that, I am thankful.

The Post-Baby Hair Loss Program

Hello family and friends! Welcome to the Post-Baby Hair Loss Program. In this program you will learn how to lose as much hair as possible after having your precious baby. I have learned through years of experience that the hair loss is inevitable for most women and must be embraced. Embrace your clogged drains and plugged up vacuums. For the next six months to a year, this will be your life. For most, normal hair loss will eventually resume.

I have been a member of the Post-Baby Hair Loss Program for almost seven months this time around. It seems to have gotten worse this time and I am very much all done. When I was younger, I always felt bad when I saw a woman with super thin hair. Now I am afraid that may be me. I may need some Rogain. Sign me up!

When I was in college, I got super grossed out by roommates who shed ridiculous amounts of hair, but wouldn't clean out the drains. I couldn't stand taking a shower when the water wouldn't drain, so I was the roommate who cleaned out the drains. It's not any less gross when it's all your own hair and I find myself once again cleaning out drains because of excessive hair.

To celebrate nearly seven months of hair loss, I decided to get a haircut to see if that would help. The verdict is still out, but if nothing else it made me feel better about myself. And I got rid of the kids for forty-five minutes.

There are many many things to celebrate with the birth of a new baby. Apparently, hair loss is one of them. So join me in celebration! We may not be shedding pounds, but we are all shedding hair!

Messy Monday

This week's Messy Monday comes to you with an attitude of gratitude. After dinner every night, the children rotate chores. There's washing, unloading, loading in, and clearing the table. O decided she needed a chore too, so we gave her the chore of putting the silverware away. This is what it looks like:



What is the gratitude part? Well, I am grateful for a two-year-old who is excited to help and LOVES to do her chore. I'm also grateful that although the other children don't share her enthusiasm, they all do a fabulous job pitching in and only occasionally whine and complain. (Ok, so there's usually at least one whiner a night, but they still get the job done!)

FAQ

"You have SIX kids? Holy cow. How do you do it?"

I actually hear this, or something very similar, on a fairly regular basis. It seems that having six kids is equivalent to having two heads or a third eyeball. You should see the looks we get. In response to this question I answer one of the following:

"Sometimes I don't do it."

"One day at a time."

"Very carefully."

And sometimes I just smile and nod. It's not like I woke up one day and suddenly had six kids. It was gradual (I'm not the octomom), and I've made adjustments. I also think many women underestimate themselves.

The next thing I hear is, "I could NEVER do it. I can barely handle my (insert # of children here)."

My response:

"Sometimes I can't either."

"Yup. It's definitely busy."

"I felt the same way when I had (insert # of children person has)."

It's true. It's always hard to imagine handling more than you currently have.

I must admit that at times it probably does look like utter chaos. And sometimes that's exactly what it is. But it's not like I'm some superwoman with mad patience. I've just made adjustments. The old phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff" rings very true when you are outnumbered six to one. The house isn't pristine, the laundry is a constant battle and sleep deprivation is just the norm.

The awesome thing is that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Are you happy?" I get this one with looks of consternation.

I read an article recently debating happiness in families with or without children as well as with larger numbers of children. Now there's a great debate. My response to all the people that think having children brings misery upon a marriage and the world is this: Having children is not easy. But true happiness does not come from easy, it comes from hard work. Children will bring more sorrow, and more joy than anything else you will ever accomplish in your life. Are we happy? Absolutely. Is it hard? You betcha. Is every moment like skipping through the daisies? Not even close.

The world at large needs to reevaluate what happiness truly is. And yes, I am happy.

Motherhood Onset ADD

You've heard of ADD and ADHD. You've probably even heard of Adult onset ADD. But have you ever heard of Motherhood Onset ADD? Well, that's what I have. Let me explain a few of my symptoms. I bet some of you have it too.

I can't sit still.

I have developed the inability to sit still through a church meeting. I have been wrangling children through church meetings for ten years and on the off-chance that I am alone, I can't sit still. I'll play with other people's children, or whisper to my neighbor. I'll fidget or bite my nails. I can't sit still.

If I'm at the computer, I can only concentrate in five minute intervals. And that's the maximum. In reality, it's more like 30 seconds. I am used to being interrupted so often that even if I'm not, I lose my concentration after a few minutes.

I have also developed the inability to finish my sentences. It takes such effort to have a conversation when children are around and I find myself forgetting what I was saying on a regular basis. Many of my sentences start like this: "Umm, I forgot what I was going to say." My sister and I can have whole conversations like this.

I've also discovered that having a lazy, sit-around day at home is now virtually impossible. On the off-chance that I have nothing planned, I find it extremely difficult to just hang out. I get bored. And then I start wondering if I'm forgetting something because we ALWAYS have something on the calendar. Of course, half the time I forget the things that are scheduled.

I know many of you are nodding your head in agreement. But don't hang your head and cry. There's a simple solution. Get rid of your children. Ok, not so simple, but I have a feeling it would rid you and me of many of our symptoms. After all, what we have is merely Motherhood Onset ADD.