Friday, December 19, 2008

Rules of toddlerhood

1. If poopy, run far away from the person with the diaper.
2. If mom is busy, follow her around and cry loudly.
3. If mom is on the phone, need her desperately.
4. If mom is on the computer, sit in her lap and try to touch all of the things you aren't supposed to touch.
5. If being held, wiggle, squirm and holler to be put down. Then immediately cry as if you are wounded so you'll be picked up again.
6. Be cute and adorable every so often so you don't get sold on the corner.
7. Cry in the car for all objects that are out of reach. Then, if fortunate enough to be given desired object, chuck it on the ground in disgust and cry some more.
8. When Dad is home, only let mom hold you and cry when the hairy man comes near.
9. Locate any and all wet wipes/kleenex boxes and empty contents as quickly as possible. This is a fun game.
10. If you can tell mom is frazzled, take a really short nap.
11. Last, but not least, if you are really naughty and get in trouble, cry so sadly that angered adult will feel the desire to hug and kiss you all better. This is a fabulous trick. Master it well, young one.


Kate said...

LOL . . . funny list . . . but oh-so-true!

Lori said...

HAHAHAHA, this list is awesome and so so true! I laughed so hard when I read it. I want to know where children get their handbooks so we can find it and re-write it. Although they do keep life interesting.

Dwight said...

I agree totally with item #1. My nose was terribly sensitive and I could hear your grandmother yell "Whooheeee Louieeee" when such events arose. I was a terrible dad.