The wet wipe fiend

Step one: Locate wet wipes




Step two: Begin to unload wet wipes


Step three: Go faster before mom catches you!










This is the wet wipe fiend. She will find the wet wipes, even if you hide them. She has gotten them off the table, out of the laundry room and out from behind the couch. She moves at the speed of light and if you catch her in the act, there's no remorse. Just lots of grinning and trying to see how many more she can pull out before I can get to her. It's lucky for her that she's cute. Otherwise, I'd have to ground her. I've even caught her on top of the table, pulling out the wet wipes as fast as she can. I'm not sure what the intrigue is, but she sure enjoys this little game!!

High pitched noises and other observations

My sweet baby girl has learned to make a not so sweet noise. It's this grating, high pitched screech. She makes this lovely sound when she plays, when she's mad, when she's dancing. She just does it continuously. It's lovely, let me tell ya. We are all begging her to stop. The worst is when she does it in church. Nothing like bringing immediate attention to your family.

This noise reminded me of another child who made a similar high pitched screeching noise during my growing up years that I still have nightmares about. (Love ya Lori!!) Yes, my sweet little sister would make this amazingly high pitched noise. I think she and Odessa knew each other in another life. And Lori, loving me like only a sister can, made this lovely noise just to grate on my nerves. It drove me buggy, and she loved it!! (Or so I perceived!) I think she also made this sound at our psycho cat, Muffin. (Ah, now there are some stories! That cat was a nut case!) I truly have never heard anything quite like it, until today. And so it seems that things that drove me nuts in childhood are going to drive me nuts in adulthood as well. Patience is a virtue, right?

Other observations

I determined that my nine year old son should at least understand the workings of a diaper. Seeing as how he proclaimed to me the other day, "But what if she poops or something?" when I left him for fifteen minutes to make a milk run. So I set out to teach him how to diaper Odessa.

After Odessa's bath last night, I made Andrew get a diaper and I showed him how to put the diaper on, then I left him to it. It was funny to watch Odessa, amused that her brother was attempting to diaper her, smirk at her brother and then proceed to squirm. After a couple of minutes and finally getting the diaper on her, I handed him her pants and told him to get her dressed. He got one foot in and then she began to kick her other leg so he couldn't get it in the other hole. Andrew finally said, exasperated, "This would be so much easier if she would just hold still!" Yes, my son, it would be!

I laughed to myself and remembered not too long ago, when he was the squirmy baby and his uncle, just about his age now, attempted to dress him and proclaimed much the same thing! Such is the cirlce of life!

"So, mom, I have a joke for ya!"

That's what Michael informed me while I was doing his hair for school this morning.

"Oh, yeah. What's your joke?" I said. I prepared myself for a really dumb kid joke. Then he told me that he even made it up himself. Uh-oh.

"So, mom, I had another bad dream last night." Long pause. I took the hint.

"What was your bad dream about?"

"It was about you waking me up?" Teehee, giggle, giggle, giggle.

I must admit, it made me laugh. He has a great sense of humor. He wasn't too happy when I woke him up this morning and even informed me he was still sleeping. The great thing about Michael is that he turned something he wasn't happy about into a joke! What a great kid!

Homework

I wasn't a big fan of homework as a kid, and I'm even less so as an adult. I think homework is code for 'busy work so I feel I've done my job as a teacher.' I mean seriously. Some of these assignments are anything but educational.

Andrew brought home a worksheet earlier this week that had a crossword puzzle on it. It had the usual clues on it, but it didn't have any word possibilities like most of his others had. And so we spent twenty minutes trying to figure out the clues before I finally gave up and got online. I found a website that you could type in the crossword puzzle clues, how many letters and then it gave possible answers. I don't even feel bad about it. What was he supposed to learn from a crossword puzzle that his mother couldn't even solve without the aid of the internet? It's just busy work, in my opinion.

Then last night, he brought home spelling words and was whining about having to write sentences. He hates writing sentences. So I go and look at his list and his words are all months of the year and days of the week. Now if the point of writing sentences is so the kids understand the meaning of the words, then that was just busy work. What fourth grader doesn't know what Monday means?

But I think my favorite of the week is the project Lillie brought home. They are doing a unit on plants. Fabulous. But she/I have to do a project. The project paper consisted of several ideas and the kids had to pick one. Well the one Lillie picked, and I can't say I blame her, was a vegetable sculpture. Now please explain to me what carving a vegetable is going to teach her? Other than taking a lot of time, I don't find that terribly valuable when it comes to her education. Fun, yes, educational, not so much.

One of the major disadvantages of having so many children is that I get to do each grade times the number of children I have. The only time I have a problem with this is when they/I have to do homework. Stupid homework!! And here I thought I was done with school long ago. Silly me!

On my mind

Last night, due to nothing on TV, I watched an Oprah that I had taped a couple of days previously. I usually tape Oprah, and then I'll watch a few minutes and if I think it's interesting, I'll watch the whole thing.

This particular episode turned out to be on child predators. I couldn't even watch it. About five minutes into the show, I was in tears. I had to turn it off and I even deleted the episode knowing I would never be able to watch it. But I can't quit thinking about all those innocent children.

I very rarely have a cause or anything that I feel strongly enough to fight for, but this one hit home. So I'm posting a link to Oprah's website which has information on how to contact your senators to pass a bill that will allow more funding to track down these perverts and put them in jail. Please support this bill. Our children are literally our future and we should protect them with everything we have. And hopefully, now that I've shared this I'll quit thinking about it. (Probably just all the hormones!)

Here's a link to write your senators. http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20080911_tows_predators

And here's more info. http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20080911_tows_predators/1

The dreaded grocery store

I had to go shopping. And I'm not talking like it could be put off for a day or two, I'm talking nothing in the cupboards besides cereal. And while the children can subsist on cereal alone, I cannot. So I waited until the most amount of children were in school, and I went to the grocery store. Sadly, this means I still had Katherine and Odessa.

Now it is important to understand that this shopping trip is on the heels of a very long night during which Odessa felt the need to be awake for two hours. So a sleep deprived mom, a one year old and a three year old went to the store. Not a recipe for success.

We walk in and Katherine immediately goes to the cart that the kids can sit in the front and drive. And while it is a fabulous idea, it only works for children who sit still. Still is not in our vocabulary, apparently. So I veto the cart and go for a regular old boring cart, to which there was much gnashing of teeth. The first ten minutes were fine. We survived the produce section, though I quickly discovered that the cart I chose veered the the left. Annoying, but not the end of the world.

By the time we hit the dairy section, Odessa had had enough of this sitting down business, and had decided to stand up in the cart. And she doesn't just stand, she dances, or points or squeals. There is no still in her little body. So I sit her down, for the first of many times and she proceeds to get mad and kick her shoe off. Then she says "uh-oh" until I get her shoe. The rest of our shopping trip consisted of this:

1. Katherine asking me if she can have this, please, please, please, pleeeeaaaassssseeee!
2. Odessa making everyone fear for her life by standing up in the cart.
3. When let down to walk, tearing pricetags off of things or pulling things off shelves, or pushing the cart into things. She's a strong little bugger.
4. Katherne hanging on the cart while doing gymnastic feats.
5. Me holding Odessa while she screams and trying to push cart one handed. Cart veered worse the more that was in it.
6. Odessa being friendly to the other shoppers.
7. Odessa biting Katherine.
8. Katherine screaming.

We did survive, though barely. The shopping part is only half the battle, now I have to put the groceries away. I bought myself some M&M's for a consolation prize, I turned on the TV and I put Odessa down for a nap. It seems to be helping, but unfortunately I still have laundry to do and a house to clean. Calgon....take me away!!!

You have to pick your battles

Those are wise words and ones I have to remember often with Miss Katherine. Katherine started preschool this year, and after a trying two weeks of getting her to school at 9a.m., I begged and pleaded and they switched us to a 10a.m. class. (Actually, I came in 15 minutes late, disheveled, in my pj's and said, "This isn't working!!" I think they believed me!) Ten is much better, but we still struggle some mornings.

Friday was one of those days. She came down bright and early in her new BYU T-shirt, that, while cute, looks like a dress especially when she wears shorts, which she was. I didn't say anything until it was time to go to school. Let's just say she looked very cute in her T-shirt/dress at school. It was obviously not a battle that was worth fighting, and so I chose not to. I did win the war over doing her hair, though. So at least she didn't look like a total orphan!

About a month ago, I bought Katherine a new princess crown. She wore it continuously for several days. On Sunday, after doing her hair, what did she put on? You guessed it, her princess crown. She proudly wore it to church and we got many comments on her beautiful crown. It was yet another battle not worth fighting. And what little girl doesn't want to feel like a princess anyway!?!

So my message of the day is to pick your battles carefully!