1. Refuse to wear a bib.
2. If no refusal to wear a bib occurs, make sure to get any exposed area covered with food.
3. Never use a napkin even if one is supplied. Your sleeve works much better.
4. Pick at any and all red or green 'things' that mom might try to put in your food.
5. If mom is foolish enough to serve a meal such as Spaghetti-o's (using the term 'meal' loosely here), make sure to get the red sauce in any available crevice.
6. Only eat junk food with enthusiasm. Gripe and complain about healthy food.
7. Make sure you are 'full' after a meal so an hour later you can be hungry and try to mooch junk food.
8. Drop your utensils on the floor at least five times per meal.
9. Dump your cereal at least once a week so mom remembers that you are a child, and anything more should not be expected from you.
10.Make sure to get as much food on the floor as you get in your mouth.
These are just a few of the rules that my children come pre-programmed with. It has become apparent to me that despite my efforts, all of the above will occur at some point during the week. I remember how grossed out I was watching my younger siblings eat and wondering how my mom could stand to let them feed themselves. I now understand that it's not any less gross when you are the mom, you just become immune. Most of the time anyway!
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