Today, we will address the skill of transporting your sleeping child into his/her crib. There are many possible ways of accomplishing this feat, but we will only discuss a few.
After spending what feels like hours getting your infant to sleep, carefully and gently as possible, tiptoe into baby's room. Adjust your hands so that they can carefully maneuver baby off your chest and into the crib, jiggling him/her as little as possible. Set the infant down then place your hand on him/her and start to pray. If he/she begins to wiggle, start chanting 'no, no, no' and pray harder. Then, when baby's eyes pop wide open, pick baby up and start over. You may eventually be able to set baby down without the eyes popping open, but it will probably take a while.
This method is called the 'let baby sleep wherever baby is asleep', method. I use this on occasion and out of desperation. I am not a parent who sleeps with my children, but sometimes the situation warrants it. And so if baby is asleep and I'm afraid to move, baby may get the rare opportunity to sleep with me. I've also let baby sleep in the swing, the carseat and the floor. All with monitoring, of course. But sleep is sacred and I'll take it however I can get it!!
Levitation. This method needs to be mastered by someone and then passed on to all sleep deprived parents, because it really is the only way not to wake a baby upon placing him/her in bed. I'm just sure of it.
Good luck to all parents attempting any of these methods. And if you perfect levitation, please let me know!