Monday, June 1, 2009

The rants of an insane mother

Why? Why do the boys insist on ignoring my tirades about their closet? Why do they still shove their clean Sunday shirts in the laundry instead of hanging them up? Is it really THAT much more effort? REALLY? And why, after telling them to take their laundry basket to their room, did they put it on TOP of all their laundry? WHY???? How many billions of times have I had the same conversation with them that consists of, "PUT YOUR LAUNDRY IN THE FLIPPIN' BASKET"!!! Do they really learn so little? Maybe they aren't nearly as smart as I think they are.

And why doesn't Andrew have any socks. I mean seriously. I bought the kid two big bags of socks, his great-grandma donated another, and the kid has no socks. WHERE THE CRAP ARE THEY???? And why does Michael insist on wearing Andrew's shirts, or his own, but backwards? EVERY DAY! I kid you not!

And then, when collecting the boys laundry this morning, I found the scriptures Andrew looked high and low for yesterday. Where did I find them? Under the giant pile of laundry in their closet. Now, if my boys did what their mother asked them to do and put their laundry IN the basket, he might have been able to find them. Because we all know that boys don't know how to look under things. EVER!

And why can't Lillie ever find the brush? It doesn't grow legs. I promise. But she NEVER took it anywhere but the bathroom. EVER. Now, I know Odessa gets into stuff, and if it were her toothbrush, I'd definitely blame Odessa, but she doesn't take off with the hair brush. And why is it always 1.2 seconds before they have to be out the door that she finally decides to look for the brush? WHY???

And while we are on hair, WHY does Andrew insist on having the spikey hair-do, but refuse to use gel to fix it so that it looks like bedhead after it dries. Every day!! Today, I informed him that the next time I saw him without gel on it, I was going to buzz it like his brother. I anticipate doing that by tomorrow.

And while we are ranting, if my stupid cats knock one more glass of water over on the counter ruining any more of my papers, I may kill them. And I'm only a little kidding.

It's been a lovely Monday morning. Can you tell? Oh, and I may go dig my For Sale by Owner sign out of the basement this morning. GRRRR!


Lori said...

Sounds like your day has been like mine. Pretty sad when it is only 9:00 on Monday morning. I would like to know why my 1 year old was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night and then up again at the crack of dawn. Add this and other minor annoyances (I have seriously considered killing my cats too) to double the pregnancy hormones and watch out. I have been going back and forth between trying not to cry and wanting to throw something. Hang in there!!

Susan said...

I laughed and laughed. Is it just desserts as your father says--actually you weren't our worst offender--one still lives at home. What comes around goes around, one day Andrew or Michael's wife will be blogging the same thing, so save it, it will do her heart good. As we walked by the pool today and I noticed a pair of boys socks in the grass, it thought(no kidding) well Stacey hasn't been here so I know it's not one of her boys socks. Ahh Kids, gotta love em.

Stacey said...

It can all just make you crazy! Go have a pepsi and that will make your day better. ;)