There is a horrid, awful disease that has spread rampantly through my house. And I am the only one not affected by this disease. The verdict is still out on Odessa. The disease begins when someone finishes a package of something. The disease is passed from the empty package to whoever dare touch it. Somehow, despite my willingness to touch empty packages, I've managed to remain untouched by this disease. My children and my husband have not been so lucky.
Just yesterday, I opened the cupboard and saw an empty package of cookies and a wrapper from a ding dong. They were just sitting there, looking menacing. I grimaced and snatched the empty packages and hurriedly threw them in the trash can. I barely escaped with my life.
I am pretty sure this disease has affected many other households across the nation. I am here to warn other women so they can stear clear of this horrid disease. It seems to mostly affect men and children. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: Empty packages and wrappers in cupboards, inability to touch said packages, twitching when asked to dispose of such objects.
Beware! This disease is so contagious I fear Odessa is next to contract it!