Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Maternity insurance

My sister and I were discussing the other day that maternity coverage was created by men. Men who know nothing of how taxing pregnancy is on a woman and doesn't take those things into account when writing the policy for maternity coverage. So we came up with our own ideas!

Here's a new policy created by women for women (already including the usual medical care):

1. Monthly massages until the last ten weeks, then weekly massages
2. Free childcare once a week for two hours
3. Free childcare at the doctor so you don't have to bug all your neighbors or take a less than cooperative child with you, thus torturing the medical staff
4. After last child is born, a tummy tuck and boob job is included (redeemable at some point in the future when mother is ready)
5. A trip to the spa, once before and once after baby
6. A maid
7. A five star hotel for one week after birth of child (which is WAYYYY better than the hospital when they wake you up all night. The medical staff at the hospital is worse than a newborn). Older children are not allowed to visit, and your every need is catered to.
8. A cook for two weeks post-partum

I'm sure there could be more things to add to this policy, but these are the ones that I came up with (with some collaboration with my sister). And who would pay for such a policy, you might ask? Any man married to a pregnant woman, that's who!!!


Patty said...

I think you need to add a housekeeper for 2 months after the baby is born

bullfrog ranch said...

Sounds like a great plan. Let me know if you find a carrier like that.

Christina said...

I am on board for this change! Although I am done having children. The twins did me in. :-)