The precipice of spring

I'm sitting here realizing I haven't posted since last Wednesday. I'm looking out the window wondering where the semi-warm weather went and who gave winter permission to return. I walked the yard a little bit ago, shivering, looking at the buds of my bulbs poking through the hard ground. Spring IS coming, just not today.

I've survived this winter more readily than last, though my burgeoning belly reminds me that a baby will arrive with spring this year. I feel we are on the precipice. We are almost there. The world just forgot for a day or two, though my children did not. They are staring out the window, longingly, just like me. Maybe if I take my Let It Snow sign down off the wall, the weather will behave appropriately.

It's so dark this afternoon. It's hard to remember the warmth of the sun on dark, dreary afternoons like this one. Though it is conducive to long naps for sick toddlers. Even so, I'm ready to stick my head out the window and yell "Enough already" at the sky. My neighbors already think I'm nutty, this will only convince them it's true.

It's hard to be motivated on days like today. When the seasons turn backwards, it feels as though all the hard work we've done to get this far has been undone. I often feel my work unraveling before my eyes anyway, the snow is not helping. Isn't that what motherhood is though? Constantly redoing things that have been done a million times over? Yes, I think so.