Monday, September 28, 2009

If you take a two year old shopping...

She's going to want some popcorn. But not until she throws a fit about taking her blankie into the store.

Today is definitely a Monday. My day started with the usual chaos of getting the older children off to school. Moments after they left, I realize that two out of three forgot to take their homework folders with them. I should have known at that moment how the rest of the day would go.

The girls and I got ready quickly and headed to the gym. O complained and cried about her shoes all the way there. "Tight", she kept saying. When we arrived, I noticed K's holey jeans and was informed that those are all she has.

Half a mile into my run, I was called down to the daycare and informed that E was poopy and sad. I quickly changed her, handed her back, made some suggestions, then returned to finish my run. While formulating a plan in my head, I finished my run, gathered the girls and a very sad baby and headed home. The plan was as follows:

1.Go to Target
2.Go to Payless
3.Go to the Grocery Store
4.Go to the Bank

I'll admit that it was a touch ambitious. But I had no idea how ambitious until we arrived at Target.

O had been a touch temperamental all morning, but I quickly learned that it was just the tip of the iceberg. Upon arriving, I unloaded E, grabbed my purse, unbuckled O and informed her that her blankie stays in the car. We do this hundreds of times a week, but today, she NEEDED her blankie.

Blankie's don't come with us, no matter how dear they are. I refuse to drag them around stores or any other public places. It's bad enough that they drag them around the house.

So I drag her out of the car and sit her, screaming, on the curb. With E in the sling, I was a little limited in my ability to handle a screaming toddler. I eventually hauled her down to a park bench and sat there while she screamed. I waited and waited and nearly decided to head home until I remembered that Target has popcorn. So I bribed her with popcorn. With a tear streaked face, 'tight' shoes in place, we walked into Target.

I bought the popcorn and the girls immediately began shoving handfuls of popcorn into their mouths as though they were starving and weren't going to see food again for another month. I'm not sure, but Target would probably like to ban us for the amount of popcorn the girls dropped on the floor. I decided to skip Payless and we got shoes at Target instead. Kill two birds with one stone.

By the time we made it out to the van, I realized it was lunch time and I was starving. The girls wanted to go to McDonald's, which was just across the street. I thought after some food in their bodies I'd be able to complete my list.

After we ate, we hurried over to the grocery store. "I just need a few things", I told them.

I rushed them through the store with few incidents, but upon returning to the van, I knew we weren't going to make my last stop. I unbuckled O from the cart and walked her over to the side of the van. She sat down on the pavement and looked at me like 'I just dare you to make me get in the car'. So I let her sit there. I unloaded the baby, I unloaded the groceries, and then I manhandled a screaming limp two-year old into her seat.

We then endured Pterodactyl-like screaming all the way home.

The Pterodactyl is now sleeping. I think the house threw up on itself, but I'm too tired to care. The school-age children get home in an hour and a half. I may have to find a padded room before this Monday is over!


Mary Ann said...

Even after reading that, I still want to have kids. :)

Cara said...

I have reveiwed the comments from the out of the mouths of babes, Rachel and I have come up with some suggestions :) 1. Duh-nuh, Doughnut. 2. Duh-nuh, TA DA!!! 3. Duh-nuh, A beat to the music.. or wanting music.. lol we hope you enjoy that we have the time earrrrly in the morning to apreciate the non clarity of two year olds.. :)

Katie said...

Don't you just love days like that? Ugh. Thankfully my 2 year old is easily bribed with food, too. We also have blankie issues, but thankfully she never asks anymore if she can bring it.

bullfrogranch said...

Stacey, I am right there with me. The trouble is I have a 4 year old and she has a "yellow" that goes with her everywhere. Even to preschoo. So awesome. yes, it is on the list of my "I will nevers..." But she is #4 and probably the last one, so I let her keep going. I can't count the # of times that I have wrestled a mad child into a carseat. Hang in there, they do grow up. :)