Monday, April 20, 2009


I've determined, after 9 years of experience, that children's toothpaste should be banished from existence. Or, they need to make a new kind of toothpaste. A toothpaste that isn't sticky, is clear or basically unseen, and it never runs out. Here's how my children use toothpaste.

At the end of a tube, they beg and plead to open the new one because it is SO hard to get the toothpaste out. Granted they try to get toothpaste out for 1.2 seconds, but I do eventually let them open the new tube. For the next week there is toothpaste everywhere. It's all over the new tube, all over the counter, on the floor, on the cabinet, on shirts. You get the idea. But, they can get it out. Then, the toothpaste will get a little low and Katherine will start bringing it to me to have me put the toothpaste on her toothbrush. I think she just doesn't want to touch the tube anymore. Because at this point, it's sticky and usually covered with a hair or two.

Over the course of the next week, the toothpaste gets progressively lower. (I've often wondered how long a tube would last them if they weren't spastic little people.) Soon they are back to each bringing me the toothpaste and claiming they can't get any out and informing me that I need to buy more. Of course, I'm the one now having to wash my hands every time I help them with it. I've showed them many times the art of getting out the toothpaste when it's low, but they refuse.

Right now we are in the toothpaste all over everything phase. I think they opened a new tube sometime last week. Oh, and the other problem is, it's not cheap! Their toothpaste costs at least as much as mine and is about half the size! There needs to be some major research done on children's toothpaste and some serious revamping done!! I mean really, what parent would ok a bright blue toothpaste for small children? (Your choices at the store are bright blue or pink.)


Jen said...

Ha, I have the same problem with my husband! (The not wanting to use the end of the tube part, not the toothpaste on the counter part.) I'm sure there's a dye free option out there somewhere.

Julia said...

Nice... I had one but I help them put it on. Half the time I just let them brush with water, the pediatrician said it was just as good. It is the brushing part that really helps them.