Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I don't wanna go to school!

I had been waiting for L at the door. I was trying to make the boys be last out the door instead of first, but she never came. After I finally let the boys run to the bus stop, I come inside looking for L. I find her standing with her hood on her head like a cape, holding her lunch and backpack. She looks sad.

"What's wrong? I was waiting for you."

"I know, I don't wanna go to school." I pat her on the head knowingly. I remember not wanting to go to school. Not for any big, earth-shattering reason, but simply because I didn't want to go. It's much like not wanting to clean the house now.

L wanders around the house looking for something. I finally tell her she'd better get going or she will miss the bus. I walk her to the door, which she opens slowly. Then she turns and looks at me, her face screwed up, ready to cry.

"Mom, I think it already came."

Sure enough. No one is at the stop in front of our house. I know why she wants to cry about it. I had to institute a rule that if you miss the bus, you walk.

"I think it's at the one down the street. See those other kids running?" I point at some other kids running for the bus. L turns and runs before I can tell her I love her and that it will be ok. She doesn't see me follow her to the bus stop in my too-short PJ pants. She'd probably be embarrassed anyway.

Part of me wants to climb aboard that bus and give her a big hug and tell her she can stay home and play with me. But another part of me knows she'll be just fine and she may even have a good day. I know she needs to learn that we often have to do things we don't want to do. But the memory of her face: fallen, dejected, and sad, stays with me.


Lori said...

That is so sad. It is sweet that you followed her. Makes me wonder how many things mom did that we missed. I hope she has a good day.

Jen said...

:( I hate it when Carina leaves the house sad in the morning. It's so much easier when she leaves smiling and blowing me kisses.

Mary Ann said...

I feel the same way about a lot of things I don't want to do. I guess I should follow Lillie's example and just hold up my quivering chin and do them. :)

runningmom said...

Sweet story...and you worded it so well. I really like this "mothering moment.