Chaos. Complete and utter chaos. That pretty much describes how yesterday went. All week I looked at my calendar and breathed a sigh of relief when I looked at Thursday. Thursday was blank. Not a thing written on it. A day to catch up. So when Thursday came and then Thursday went with a total of five seconds to myself, I was a teeny bit disappointed. I accomplished nothing on my list, and the house erupted into utter chaos. I ran from one thing to the next all day. So much for nothing on the calendar.
As I went to bed last night I had visions of grandeur. I had visions of spending a day cleaning. I could picture an immaculate house, even if it only lasted for five minutes. I pictured cleaning the bathroom, actually finishing the laundry for once and maybe even tackling my bedroom.
And then E woke up at her usual time to nurse during the night. She had been a little sneezy yesterday, but I didn't think anything of it. Amidst the chaos I didn't realize she was getting sick. As she struggled to nurse despite her obvious congestion, I began to rewrite my vision of my day. I realized that the laundry probably won't get put away, the floor will probably still be sticky and I'll be lucky to find the tabletop. I knew that today would be filled with tending to a sick infant.
My husband is always telling me that it's all about managing expectations. I find that to be true about life in general, but especially about motherhood. It's so easy to get frustrated when your expectations aren't met day after day. But when I change my expectations, I find that it's much easier to be satisfied with what I have accomplished.
So while I doubt I will accomplish anything truly magnificent today, there is always tomorrow. And today I will snuggle my sick baby. Consider my expectations managed!
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