Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets etc.

This is the crew that we start the morning off with. They are highly annoying to adults, but highly entertaining to small children. If you don't have children, I'm sure you wonder why anyone would let their children watch such obnoxious television. I'm here to tell you that you do many things in parenting for the sake of your sanity. And Dora has saved me many times. But I do have to draw the line somewhere. And that line is drawn at the Yo Gabba Weirdos, as I have lovingly dubbed them. The show is actually called Yo Gabba Gabba, but the first time I saw it I knew Yo Gabba Weirdos was much more appropriate. It's just plain weird. It's worse than Barney. But I don't sit in judgement on any parent willing to let their kids watch the Yo Gabba Weirdos. Like I said, there are things we do in the name of sanity. But I pity the parent that sits through that show, even if it's on just in the background. The Wonder Pets, bless their obnoxious little hearts, are even better than the Yo Gabba Weirdos.

There's another new Dora-esque show that's on. I think the chinese were feeling bad that American kids were learning spanish. I call it the chinese Dora. It's not the same format, but the same idea. Teach kids chinese words through a cute kid show. I don't mind it, and who knows, maybe my children will become wonderfully versatile in foreign languages. It's still better than the Yo Gabba Weirdos!

Go outside and PLAY!!

Says the mom! I am so excited that the kids are almost out for the summer. After last year's mere three weeks of summer, I'm ready for a break. And I can only imagine the kids are too. That being said, we have one major obstacle to my own personal enjoyment of summer freedom. If I could just get the kids to go outside and PLAY!! They act like I'm torturing them when I make them go outside. "But there's nothing to do" or "it's too hot" is what I usually get. And then they are in and out fifty times because they have to go to the bathroom or get a drink. I'm tempted to stick them out there and lock the door sometimes! It drives me bonkers.

Now I know that my perception of my childhood is probably a little skewed. Time is forever when you're a kid. But I remember spending hours, free, outside with my sister. We dug a hole to China one year. (Actually it was only under our deck and we connected it to a hole the neighbors kid's dug under their deck. But still.) Barbie's committed suicide off the ledge behind our house. We made water slides for other dolls out of the rain gutters from the house. We had lots of fun. I'm sure we also drove my mother nuts, but it seems like we spent forever outside playing. So my goal this summer is to teach the kids that the outdoors is a vast land for fun and imagination. We'll see. They probably think that they are outside forever, hence the constant trips to the bathroom. But I am determined to school them in the art of playing outside!! Now go outside and PLAY!!!

Adventures in diaper changing

As with all motherhood, diaper changing goes through stages. The initial newborn stage consists of poop leaking up their backs, out their legs and all over their clothing and the most opportune times. (Such as while you are walking out the door, already late to wherever you are going, or while you are out to dinner and have nothing else to put them in.) Then you graduate to the stage of the rolling baby. Keeping them still long enough to change the diaper is a challenge, but don't worry, it will get worse. We are currently in the 'catch me if you can' diaper changing stage. It's special. Odessa has mastered the roll away and crawl quickly skill. It's not so bad when she's just wet, although she has peed on the carpet a time or two. It's when she's poopy that it's a real problem. Usually it goes something like this; I finally wrestle her to the diaper changing mat, get the diaper off and begin to wipe, all the while fighting off her hands so she doesn't stick them in the poop. Then I hold onto one leg while she wriggles, screams and does contortionist tricks while trying one handed to get a diaper on her. Once the diaper is actually on, good luck getting her clothes back on. That's a whole other post in itself. I know we will graduate on to other special diaper changing stages. Including, but not limited to: The run away stage, the I can take my diaper off myself stage, and finally the mom thinks I'm too big for diapers but I won't go in the toilet stage. All I have to say is...motherhood is full of lovely tasks!

I wanna have a picnic!

Some days when I think ahead to the future, I know I will miss having little bitty kids. Yesterday, Katherine needed to have a picnic. (Needed! She asked for a picnic from about ten o'clock on!) So we took a blanket out on the front lawn and various lunch foods and had ourselves a picnic. Katherine fed her Barbie carrots and I fed Odessa some yogurt. It was a beautiful day and I loved sitting outside with the girls. I love that simple things can bring so much joy to the children. Somehow I think they probably won't want to have a picnic on the front lawn when they are teenagers. I suppose that's why you have grandchildren, so you can do it all again. Only then you can send them home!

Woman of Steel!!

Start of Swim.
Getting ready to ride.
Finish Line!!














I survived my first triathlon and completed all my personal goals. 1. I finished 2. I didn't fall off my bike 3. I didn't walk at any point! I finished in 1 hour 24 minutes 52 seconds. The distances were 300 meter swim, 11.6 mile bike and 3 mile run. I did the swim in 9 minutes 44 seconds. My bike time was 44 minutes 6 seconds and my run was 25 minutes 59 seconds. I came in 198 out of 530 women. I was 57 in my age group (age 30-34).So I must say I am a tad proud of myself. My average run mile was around 8:23, which is way faster than I've ever run it. I must also say that I am now hooked and am looking for another triathlon to do this summer to see if I can beat my own time! I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to!!

Classic Michael

Upon arriving home I said: "I bet your friend Kirk will be knocking on the door soon to play."

Michael: "I need some quality time on my DS first."

Snicker, snicker. Me: "Quality time, huh?"

Michael, in all sincerity: "Yeah, I haven't had any quality time on my DS yet today. And you said I could play when we got home."

Me, still snickering: "Yes I did!"

The things he come up with! He cracks me up!

Update on 'THE SONG'

The song was sung, or rather not sung, by many children, while beaming mothers looked on. Of my own crew, Michael sang his little heart out, I could see Lillie's eyeball, but I have no idea whether or not she sang and I think I caught a glimpse of Andrew. And yes, as predicted, I have that stupid song stuck in my head. But the children had the same response to the mother baking bread all day line as I do. They seemed to have forgotten a few words after that line. It takes a bit to recover from that one!

To my children's credit (much as I love my dear husband, Mother's Day has never been his forte) I got roses, bubble bath, many homemade cards and a steak dinner. All requested (except the roses) by me and remembered by my eldest who made sure Dad took him out to get the required items right before bed last night. I learned from their various messages that they all love me because I clean, make them food and drive them around. Glad I can help! The one that got me was on Andrew's fill in the blank card he made at school. It said "I love to hear my Mom sing----- " . He filled in Matchbox twenty. He knows his mother well!! The Jazz won, and we will watch the Survivor finale after the kids go to bed. This mom declares a successful Mother's Day indeed!

Reflections on running...

...by a former non-runner.

I think I had a breakthrough yesterday. After running a tad begrudgingly for the past several months, I've managed to work my way up to running a little over three miles two to three times a week. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I have learned not to hate it either. But yesterday, I enjoyed it and I accidentally ran 4.41 miles. How do you accidentally run that far? I think it happens when you are actually enjoying running. While I still claim that people are insane for running a marathon, and I still swear I never will, for the first time yesterday I could see how someone could. It was such a beautiful morning. It was quiet and the weather was perfect. I think my body went on autopilot and I just ran wherever I wanted to go. Thanks to current technology, I wear a watch that tells me how far I've gone and how fast I've run. But yesterday for the first time I didn't obsess the whole time about how far I had gone and how soon I could head home. I just went. It was amazing to me! And while I am sore and a little stiff today (yes I did stretch!), and I have no plans of running that far again any time soon, I am competing in my first triathlon next Saturday. I think I was a little crazy when I signed up for it, but I've worked hard and I am getting excited! So for all of you who swear you will never be a runner...never say never!!!

If you want a cold lunch...

Yup, you guessed it, you are going to have to make it yourself! I go to all the effort of writing you a check once a month so you can eat at school. So if you want a cold lunch because you don't like what they serve, then you have to do it yourself. And you have to do it the night before because there's not enough time in the morning. What kind of mother am I anyway?

I am the kind of mother that doesn't cook breakfast and won't pack my own kids lunch. Of course there's some advantage to this as a child. For one, they get to eat all the cold cereal their little hearts desire, and two, if I don't get around to checking what they put in their cold lunch, then they can take all kinds of crap to school to eat. Life doesn't get much better than that. Does it? I'd like to think that by doing these things, or rather not doing these things, I am inspiring great independence. Of course, twenty years from now Lillie will probably tell me I ruined her childhood by making her make her own cold lunch. C'est la vie! (I'm realizing I probably spelled that wrong.)

The moral of the story is: if you want a hot breakfast or a cold lunch, do it yourself! This mama is not a maid to order cook! But I will make you dinner, almost every night!

Oodles and oodles of boogers

That's what Odessa has, oodles of boogers. Gross. I know. Believe me, I know. Everything I wear gets boogered*. My parents always said they should have invested in the Kleenex company. I think Odessa wants to make sure another generation of parents feels the same way. I feel her pain. I have perma-congestion this time of year due to the lovely trees that are budding their brains out right now.

She detests having her nose wiped. Even with boogers oozing down her cute little face, she sees a tissue and immediately starts doing the head dodge*. Then she cries and screams as though I have amputated her nose instead of merely wiping it. I'm pretty sure my poor baby has allergies just like her mother. But it's kind of hard to convince the gym daycare of that when I drop her off. I just wipe her nose really good before I leave and then pray she doesn't sneeze for the next hour. Then I go and run really fast!

I keep hoping that one day we won't live in the land of boogers*. I hope that sometime soon my sweet baby won't be dripping boogers. She's so cute otherwise! One of these days...

*Definitions:
Boogered-what happens when a baby with oodles of boogers rubs her face into mommy's clean clothes.

Head dodge-quicly moving head back and forth so that mom's attempt at wiping boogers ends with merely smearing them all over the face. The head dodge is considered successful if no contact is made with the actual nose.

Land of boogers-a home that is littered with used tissue for months at a time.

The kitchen floor

This morning I feel like complaining. So I'm going to complain about my kitchen floor. It's always ookie. And I mean always. Even if it's been swept, mopped and polished recently. Somehow the kids have a radar that senses the cleanliness and they instantly spill something sticky or create a large crumb mess. I should probably mop daily, but I usually only do it once a week. And it will stay in the same sticky state until I mop. Then, within 24 hours, it's back to the sticky mess it was before. It's one of many things that I wonder why I go to all the effort of ever cleaning it. Of course I know the answer is that I do it because I can't stand it. The kids don't notice, and bless my sweet husband's heart, he doesn't notice either. He also doesn't notice when it's clean. Although, if I've gone through a bad spell with cleaning, he'll say something like, "Wow the house is REALLY clean today." It's so sad. That's only when it's been like two weeks since I've done major cleaning. The daily stuff he doesn't notice too much. Neither do the kids. I do it so I don't go insane. But today is laundry day, not mop the floor day. So I'll probably stare at the sticky floor for a few more days, all the while avoiding the sticky spots and attempting to sweep several times a day. *Sigh*

If you want a hot breakfast...

Don't come to my house! Breakfast for me always has been, and always will be, various flavors of cold cereal. Or occasionally instant oatmeal. My children have thus followed suit. Except recently Andrew has decided that he wants over-easy eggs for breakfast. The first time he asked me if he could have them, my response was; sure, if you make them yourself. I thought this would be a deterrant, as it deters me. Hence the cold cereal. But no, my enterprising 8 year old got out a pan, butter and eggs and proceeded to attempt to make himself over-easy eggs. He did pretty good the first time, however I did take pity on him and help him a bit. It's now a week later and he has successfully learned the art of making over-easy eggs, by himself. I don't think I learned to do it right until I was married. Maybe he'll become a chef and save me from the woes of cooking in my old age. And they smell so good. It almost makes me rethink my dedication to my cold cereal breakfasts. Almost.