Messy Monday

This week, I bring you Messy Monday times two! Aren't you excited? I bet you are on the edge of your seat! The first part of Messy Monday comes in celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday. After all that yummy food, it has to go somewhere and I know many of us have done miraculous things with our refrigerators in an effort to fit all the leftovers in. Don't lie. You know your fridge looks something like this:



When I was trying to decide what to post for Messy Monday (I always have LOTS of options) my son informed me I should post a picture of the fridge. I disagreed, saying that it's not messy, it's merely full. However, I can see where he's coming from. To the untrained eye, it looks pretty bad.

The next mess is a constant thorn in my side. My desk. It is the catch-all. If we are cleaning and a child brings me something I don't know what to do with, it goes on my desk. There are CD's, piles of bills and who knows what else lurking on my desk. I do clean it off every so often, but it re-accumulates rather quickly.



Where's your mess this lovely Monday?

The Human Vacuum

The baby is crawling. I told her there was no rush, but she didn't listen to me. The pull to follow her siblings was far too great.

With crawling comes one of my least favorite phases of babyhood. The Human Vacuum phase. I can barely get the baby to eat solids, so I figured she wouldn't be one that put many things in her mouth. Apparently, paper tastes better than applesauce.

A couple of days ago I went to nurse her. She began gagging, so I sat her up and she smiled at me. So I tried again. Again she started to gag. I swept her mouth with my finger and there was paper stuck to the roof of her mouth. Poor baby. Sweet potatoes don't compare with tidbits off the floor either.

When my older kids were little, it was easier to keep dangerous things off the floor. Now I have to be on the lookout for legos and k'nex. Even if I banish all small objects to the upstairs, they find their way down. Little mice appear in the night and spread them through the house. I'm sure of it.

I am now diligently vacuuming and sweeping. This diligence will last until the baby quits putting absolutely everything in her mouth. Then we'll go back to our usual filth.

For now, we are all on the lookout for the Human Vacuum and what she puts in her mouth.

Random Thanksgiving thoughts

1. Children think it's a good Thanksgiving when they are allowed to eat popcorn balls for dinner.

2. Nap time should be required and arranged by the household in which Thanksgiving dinner is held. Babysitting should be provided.

3. If the toddler wants to drink milk all day, let her.

4. TV may be used as crowd control for the 20 plus children in attendance.

5. If you can't find Dad, he's probably taking a nap.

6. Having your wedding anniversary on Thanksgiving is anti-climatic. And no, we didn't do anything for our anniversary. That's what 12 years does to you.

7. Eat turkey until you need to loosen your pants. The 5K you ran in the morning does not allow you to eat more, it only allows you to feel less guilty when you do.

8. Your house will still look like a tornado struck it upon returning. Just be glad you weren't hosting the party this year.

9. When returning home late at night, put the toddler in her PJ's even if she is unconscious. Otherwise, she will wake up at the crack of dawn and INSIST on wearing her PJ's. You have two choices at this point: insanity, or put the blasted PJ's on her.

10. When it all comes down to it, if everything you own was gone tomorrow, you would still have what is most important: your family. And for that, I am thankful.

The Post-Baby Hair Loss Program

Hello family and friends! Welcome to the Post-Baby Hair Loss Program. In this program you will learn how to lose as much hair as possible after having your precious baby. I have learned through years of experience that the hair loss is inevitable for most women and must be embraced. Embrace your clogged drains and plugged up vacuums. For the next six months to a year, this will be your life. For most, normal hair loss will eventually resume.

I have been a member of the Post-Baby Hair Loss Program for almost seven months this time around. It seems to have gotten worse this time and I am very much all done. When I was younger, I always felt bad when I saw a woman with super thin hair. Now I am afraid that may be me. I may need some Rogain. Sign me up!

When I was in college, I got super grossed out by roommates who shed ridiculous amounts of hair, but wouldn't clean out the drains. I couldn't stand taking a shower when the water wouldn't drain, so I was the roommate who cleaned out the drains. It's not any less gross when it's all your own hair and I find myself once again cleaning out drains because of excessive hair.

To celebrate nearly seven months of hair loss, I decided to get a haircut to see if that would help. The verdict is still out, but if nothing else it made me feel better about myself. And I got rid of the kids for forty-five minutes.

There are many many things to celebrate with the birth of a new baby. Apparently, hair loss is one of them. So join me in celebration! We may not be shedding pounds, but we are all shedding hair!

Messy Monday

This week's Messy Monday comes to you with an attitude of gratitude. After dinner every night, the children rotate chores. There's washing, unloading, loading in, and clearing the table. O decided she needed a chore too, so we gave her the chore of putting the silverware away. This is what it looks like:



What is the gratitude part? Well, I am grateful for a two-year-old who is excited to help and LOVES to do her chore. I'm also grateful that although the other children don't share her enthusiasm, they all do a fabulous job pitching in and only occasionally whine and complain. (Ok, so there's usually at least one whiner a night, but they still get the job done!)

FAQ

"You have SIX kids? Holy cow. How do you do it?"

I actually hear this, or something very similar, on a fairly regular basis. It seems that having six kids is equivalent to having two heads or a third eyeball. You should see the looks we get. In response to this question I answer one of the following:

"Sometimes I don't do it."

"One day at a time."

"Very carefully."

And sometimes I just smile and nod. It's not like I woke up one day and suddenly had six kids. It was gradual (I'm not the octomom), and I've made adjustments. I also think many women underestimate themselves.

The next thing I hear is, "I could NEVER do it. I can barely handle my (insert # of children here)."

My response:

"Sometimes I can't either."

"Yup. It's definitely busy."

"I felt the same way when I had (insert # of children person has)."

It's true. It's always hard to imagine handling more than you currently have.

I must admit that at times it probably does look like utter chaos. And sometimes that's exactly what it is. But it's not like I'm some superwoman with mad patience. I've just made adjustments. The old phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff" rings very true when you are outnumbered six to one. The house isn't pristine, the laundry is a constant battle and sleep deprivation is just the norm.

The awesome thing is that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Are you happy?" I get this one with looks of consternation.

I read an article recently debating happiness in families with or without children as well as with larger numbers of children. Now there's a great debate. My response to all the people that think having children brings misery upon a marriage and the world is this: Having children is not easy. But true happiness does not come from easy, it comes from hard work. Children will bring more sorrow, and more joy than anything else you will ever accomplish in your life. Are we happy? Absolutely. Is it hard? You betcha. Is every moment like skipping through the daisies? Not even close.

The world at large needs to reevaluate what happiness truly is. And yes, I am happy.

Motherhood Onset ADD

You've heard of ADD and ADHD. You've probably even heard of Adult onset ADD. But have you ever heard of Motherhood Onset ADD? Well, that's what I have. Let me explain a few of my symptoms. I bet some of you have it too.

I can't sit still.

I have developed the inability to sit still through a church meeting. I have been wrangling children through church meetings for ten years and on the off-chance that I am alone, I can't sit still. I'll play with other people's children, or whisper to my neighbor. I'll fidget or bite my nails. I can't sit still.

If I'm at the computer, I can only concentrate in five minute intervals. And that's the maximum. In reality, it's more like 30 seconds. I am used to being interrupted so often that even if I'm not, I lose my concentration after a few minutes.

I have also developed the inability to finish my sentences. It takes such effort to have a conversation when children are around and I find myself forgetting what I was saying on a regular basis. Many of my sentences start like this: "Umm, I forgot what I was going to say." My sister and I can have whole conversations like this.

I've also discovered that having a lazy, sit-around day at home is now virtually impossible. On the off-chance that I have nothing planned, I find it extremely difficult to just hang out. I get bored. And then I start wondering if I'm forgetting something because we ALWAYS have something on the calendar. Of course, half the time I forget the things that are scheduled.

I know many of you are nodding your head in agreement. But don't hang your head and cry. There's a simple solution. Get rid of your children. Ok, not so simple, but I have a feeling it would rid you and me of many of our symptoms. After all, what we have is merely Motherhood Onset ADD.

Big Slobbery Kisses

O is at the age when you can tell her to do silly things and she will willingly do them. For example, I can tell her to go kiss her brother and she will run off and do it.

Two nights ago, the kids were running through the house creating their usual chaos. I was sitting on the floor with the baby when A started standing on his head. O came and plopped herself down next to me. I leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Go poke your brother in the belly button."

She grinned and took off. But instead of poking him in the belly button, she leaned down and kissed him, then took off running. A fell over and I started giggling.

"Mom, what did you tell her to do that for?" I laughed because that's not what I told her to do.

M was beside himself, giggling on the floor. O comes over to me and sticks her ear next to my face for another 'secret'. This time I told her to go kiss him. A was on his head again and O poked his belly button, turned and grinned at me.

Over the course of the next few minutes, O gave both her brothers kisses, which were met with much protesting and ewww's. I finally determined that both boys needed big slobbery kisses from their mother. M was easy to hold down and with the assistance of his big brother, I successfully delivered a big slobbery kiss. A knew it was his turn next and tried to take off. But amidst giggles, he fell to the floor. I thought I had him. That was until his very long legs kicked out and got me squarely in the nose.

Boy did that hurt. He was very concerned and came to make sure I was ok. After I recovered, I made sure he got extra slobbery kisses to make up for my injury.

They were all sufficiently wiped off afterwards. He is ten, after all.

Out on the town!

Friday evening I was anxious to get out of the house. I asked the kids what they wanted to go do.

"Out to dinner!" A suggested.

I had to clarify. I wanted to get out of the house and do something "fun and free." I figured that narrowed it down a bit, but the kids didn't seem to get the "free" part very well. I got suggestions of going to a movie, renting a movie, and Chucke Cheese. The "Fun and Free" concept was not being grasped.

Suddenly, A piped up, "Let's make our OWN restaurant! We can make menus and everything." And so began a lovely evening. The kids spent the next hour making menus. It was leftover night, which worked out perfectly. We had quite a few choices on our menu. M was a tad disillusioned when he found out it was just our family coming to our restaurant and that we wouldn't be charging 'real' money. But he got over it and joined in the fun. We set a nice tablecloth on the table and the kids 'drove' to the restaurant.

I dug out an old shirt with my name on it from my waitress days long ago, and became their waitress. Upon arrival, I was informed that A drove the car, but was pulled over by a cop on the way to the restaurant.

They had a grand time calling me Miss and giggled every time I called them 'Ma'am and Sir'. I got a handsome tip from homemade money and they 'drove' home.

Upon 'returning home' I was informed that as soon as Dad came home, we were going out to dinner too. Dad was a little confused when I told him we were going out for dinner, but once in the garage I explained. So Dad and I had a 'date' of sorts, complete with waitresses and a fabulous cook. It was a ton of fun and a very memorable evening.

A told me later that it was definitely the best "fun and free" idea we had ever had!

So next time you and your kids are itching to get out but need something "fun and free", I highly recommend having an in-home restaurant! What a memory maker!

Messy Monday

Welcome to the return of Messy Monday! Last week I was a little under the weather and took a hiatus from Messy Monday. The whole house was Messy. It was a tad depressing. But I'm better and Messy Monday is back!

This week's Messy Monday is brought to you in part by shoes. Shoes and socks will be the death of me. (The laundry may help.) I've tried to organize them, but they seem to multiply in the night. They go in the baskets. The flaw is that when one of the kids can't find a shoe, they chuck the rest of the shoes out of the basket onto the floor. And of course they don't put them back. Before long, it's a hazard getting out the garage door.



Where's your mess today?

Sleep

I lay in bed, wrapped up in my comforter, trying to ignore the noises coming from the bedrooms down the hall. They aren't sad noises, just awake noises. I pry my eyes open and glance at the clock. It's 6:45 a.m.

All the books and websites tell me that my children should be sleeping until at least 8 a.m. because that's how many hours of sleep they supposedly need. They've obviously never met MY children.

I close my eyes and lay there for a few minutes. There have been times that I've considered being the super-organized mom. You know, the mom that gets out of bed at six and is all ready for the day before the children are awake. That thought usually lasts a whole five seconds. I like my sleep and I dread the day that my oldest goes to Junior High. He will just have to be self-sufficient because anything before 7 a.m. is still the middle of the night in my book.

I hear O telling Don Juan to get out of her room. I know there's no going back now. She's definitely awake and she hasn't learned that Mom doesn't get up early. Then I hear a little squeak that I know is E.

I groan a little and sit up. I rub my face, stretch and start thinking about my day. It's Friday, and there's not much on the agenda. But I've been under the weather all week and the house needs some TLC now that I'm feeling better. I sigh and reach for my glasses that are on the end table next to the clock.

I walk down the hall, wondering how in the world E could be awake already. I am well aware of how little she slept during the night. I peek into O's room. She grins, knowing she has permission to get out of bed now. I walk into E's room and peek into her crib and I am immediately rewarded for all my hard work. E sees me and instantly smiles. I pick her up and hug her to me. I smell her head and kiss her little cheeks. Who needs sleep anyway?

First ever blogging award!

I am totally flattered to have received my first ever blogging award! Thank you Brianne for the lemonade stand award! Check out her blog for some cute moments that will definitely make you smile!



I'm a novice at this, but here are the rules:

The rules are as followed:

- Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
- Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
- Link the nominees within your post.
- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

My first nominee is The Prana Mama.She has a wonderful blog centered around motherhood and yoga. She definitely has a great and calming attitude!

Nikki, over at The Housewife Chronicles makes me giggle. And Christine at From Dates to Diapers, a fellow mom to six, also has a great attitude amongst the chaos!

I also quite enjoy Nancy at If Evolution Works. So funny!

This next one goes to a blogger that is an incredible writer and who I've come to see as a kindred spirit, albeit halfway around the world. Her blog is definitely worth the time, but make sure you have a minute to read! Thank you Kerry for some truly amazing stories!

Next, is an amazing lady with quite the story, raising twins. You can find her at
Half of a Duo Raising a Duo.

The last one goes to a blog I've recently discovered.
Naomi writes a wonderful blog, has a great attitude and shares my love for babywearing!

Phew! I know that's not quite ten, but all that linking was hard! I hope you enjoy these amazing ladies as much as I have!

Who's the Mom Here?!?

"Me, or all of you?"

"But MOM! She spit out ALL of her CANDY!" M declared loudly.

It seems that there's an overabundance of Mothers in our little home. You'd think one would be enough. Apparently not.

I remember being so aggravated with my own mother when she would declare to me that she WAS in fact the Mom. And now it's my turn to declare the same thing to my own children.

The children seem overly concerned that justice be doled out evenly amongst all of the siblings. They leave me no wiggle room, no chance to ignore a behavior if I'm just not in the mood. I am constantly telling them that yes I know Odessa is snitching chips, AGAIN. I am not unaware, I am just choosing my battles.

It doesn't help that the main offender at this moment in time is two and very mischievous.

"Moooom! O hit me!"

"Mooom! O is eating candy."

"Mooom! O stinks!"

Aside from being little informants I hear myself being repeated.

"K, get your fingers out of your mouth."

"A, you better not do that or you are going to get in TROUBLE."

I think the only cure is for them to grow up and produce little mothers of their own.

But seriously, who's the Mom here?

Fall

Last week, we had perfect fall weather. The air was crisp, but the sun was warm. The leaves had fallen off the trees and made that lovely crunching sound when you walked through them. I decided to take the children to a nearby farm and let them run free. We stopped off at a store and bought a large bag of bird bread so we could feed the ducks.

We had a lovely picnic, but it didn't take long before the children were climbing trees and running through the leaves. For a minute, I wished we had a yard with large trees. Then I thought about raking and was glad we could just visit those lovely trees.

We hadn't been to the farm for a while, and O squealed with glee at all of the ducks and geese. It only took about ten minutes for the children to feed the birds all four loaves of bread. There were a couple of tense moments when the birds came a little too close for comfort.



After we ran out of bread, we went to visit the rest of the animals. We pet piglets, gawked at the horses, and commented on the smelly cows. Then the children discovered the tractors and everyone had a turn being Farmer Joe for a few minutes.



A didn't have enough time to climb enough trees, but we left the farm tired and mostly satisfied. Now, if I could just have my way, this beautiful fall weather would last until spring, then we'd go straight to summer. Too bad mother nature has her own agenda.

Survival of the Fittest and other church-capades

Today is Sunday. A day of rest. Supposedly. I'm thinking that preparing six children, one husband and myself to attend 3 hours of meetings is not very restful. But that's just me.

Today began like any other Sunday. Church doesn't start until 11 a.m., so we dawdle in the morning. The kids watch cartoons and play the Wii. I get a shower. The baby takes a nap. Just the usual day.

And then we get to church.

For anyone curious, here are the things necessary to survive before we are mercifully allowed to send the children off to their meetings.

1. Bring snacks.

2. Bring a sippy.

3. Bring items of entertainment.

4. Leave all the children at home. Crap, can't do that one.

5. When two-year old throws tantrum, find a quiet corner in the hallway for her to scream.

6. Develop patience. Draw from Heavenly powers. We are at church after all. Shouldn't patience come more naturally?

7. Leave Dad alone with five children and go feed the baby. Plan this strategically so that the baby is hungry smack-dab in the middle of the meeting.

8. Pray.

9. Don't clock-watch. It's too depressing.

10. Books. Lots of books.

After O threw her first tantrum, I hauled her and the baby out in the hallway. We had time-out, then came reverently back in and sat down. She then decided to take off her sweater. Oh, wait. Just kidding. Then another tantrum. Dad's turn. By the time she and Dad returned, E was hungry and cranky.

Needless to say, it was a VERY long meeting today. I determined that I played the church game called how many times can mom leave the meeting.I think I won. I think some days are just better than others.

For all you church-goers out there, it's not impossible to attend with children. It's just harder. (Like just about everything else!) But don't give up, they do grow up eventually. At least that's what I kept telling myself today.

Mommy Brain

Once upon a time there was a very smart lady. One day, she had kids. Then that very smart lady was very forgetful and occasionally a little ditzy. Her friends would whisper when she did something silly. The lady thought they were cruel, but they were really just telling each other a truth.

"That lady has mommy brain," they would say.

"Poor lady, now she's just like the rest of us."

I sometimes joke that I pushed the rest of my brain cells out with my sixth child. I'm only partially joking. I do things now that I never did before. I can't ever remember the date, and even when I do, I get it wrong about half the time. I told someone yesterday that I was sure it was November 6th because it's my Dad's birthday. My Dad's birthday is on the 5th, which was yesterday. I rock.

I lose my keys on a regular basis. Although, I partially blame children for that one. A certain two-year old (cough, O, cough) likes to play with them.

When K was a baby, A was in afternoon Kindergarten and I had to go pick him up. It was during nap time and I was always in a rush waking up kids, changing diapers and getting to the school on time. One day, upon arriving home, I went to get K out of her car seat only to find her completely soaked. I thought she had peed through her diaper. Nope. I had forgotten to put a diaper on her. Who does that? I had actually forgotten to diaper my baby. Lovely.

I leave my cell phone at home regularly. Apparently getting everyone AND a cell phone in the car is a near impossibility.

If it's not written on the calendar, then it doesn't happen. And even if it is written on the calendar, I still sometimes miss things. I can't seem to remember to send L to her church activity every other Friday. It's on my calendar, but I must not be able to read on Friday.

I've learned, however, that I'm not alone. I just have Mommy Brain. I think it's all the hormones, lack of sleep, and chaos from children that causes it. I think it's irreversible brain damage.

Mothers, just realize that when they hand you your beautiful newborn babe, they are also handing you your brain.

Conversation with a Two-Year Old

A conversation with O in the car.

O: Mom, park!

Me: No, O, we aren't going to the park. It's dark out. You can't go when it's dark.

O: Moooom, PARK!

Me: No, O. It's dark.

Quiet. A moment later.

O: Mooom, Moooooom!!! PARK!! DARK!!

Me: No park O. Yes, it's dark.

O: (to herself) Park, dark.

I turn up the music in the van and pray. This could go on all night. O is not easily distracted.

A couple of minutes later.

O: Park!!

Me: O, we'll go tomorrow, ok? All done. No more. No park!!!

O: Morrow. Park. Dark.

Me:(Thinking grrrrrr!) Yes O. We can go to the park tomorrow.

There's a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome. We have this same conversation all the time, just take out 'park' and insert 'candy' or 'outside' or any number of other things. And somehow both of us expects a different outcome. I expect that she'll give it up sooner, and she expects to get her way. I suppose we are both a little insane.

Search for a missing pet

"M, come feed the cats!" I holler. It's the kid's responsibility, but even with insistently mewing kitties, they manage to forget.

M feeds them, but a few minutes later I realize our Siamese, Winter, hasn't shown up for dinner. She does this on occasion. She has a tendency to hide. I can't say I blame her. If I had a two-year old dragging me through the house, I'd hide too.

I call for Winter, but she doesn't come. The kids call for her and start checking her hiding spots. Ten minutes later, I break out the heavy artillery, a can of tuna. She still doesn't come and I begin to realize she must be gone. We go outside and start calling her, but again, she doesn't come. As the children realize that our indoor cat is gone, several of them shed tears. Their prayers at night include praying that she comes home.

In the morning, I call the shelter. We call outside for her, but she still doesn't come. I realize, to myself, that the odds of her coming home are not likely. You see, our house backs a major road that is under construction. I just hope we don't find her that way.

We find pictures of her and the boys make up a flyer. I take it to Office Max and make 25 copies. A is disappointed that I didn't make color copies.

We spend the morning posting flyers and knocking on doors. The children are hopeful that someone just kept her for the night. But the longer we walk, the more their hope dims.

M asks, "If we can't find Winter, can we get another cat?"

"Probably not." I say with a sigh. Pushing a double stroller with the baby in her sling is very tiring.

"But that means maybe we could, right?" Ah, he knows me too well. I keep quiet and we finish hanging flyers.

It is a beautiful day and although the children are tired and ready for lunch, looking for Winter turned into quite the fun adventure. I just hope she comes home.

In the evening, after dinner, I employ my crew of mini-slaves to help tidy the disastrous house. It was sorely neglected in lieu of searching for our cat. I excused the kids after an hour and sat on the floor in the bathroom finishing up. And then I heard her. Winter was mewing at the front door. I hop up declaring, "I hear a cat!" I open the door, and there she is. I feel like a disappointed parent, glad she is home, but scolding her for taking off.

M is near tears for joy. Odessa picks her up, carries her around and proclaims, "Kitty home!" Even she understands. A member of our family returned.

A says, "Mom, lets get her a collar tomorrow." And our happy family is whole once more.

Messy Monday

This week's Messy Monday comes to you in part by the lovely Halloween holiday. (I love saying it that way. It sounds like a commercial.) In reality, I could take pictures of my whole house for this week's Messy Monday, but I won't bore you. After a week of kids being home every day, the house has suffered greatly. Never fear! I have mini-slaves I intend to put to work today!



Where's your mess today?

On a sad note, somehow our little cat Winter got out yesterday, so I will also be spending time today trying to find her.

Happy Messy Monday!

Halloween

Happy Halloween from a Starburst, a Pteradactyl, a Hippie, an Indian Princess, Snow White, Elmo and Winnie the Pooh!


Halloween was approached with much anticipation this year. I didn't throw my annual party, and by October 31st, the children were nearly ready to explode. The day had the feeling of a bad road trip. I could almost hear, "Are we there yet?" Instead I heard, "How much longer until we can go trick or treating?"

"It's 10:30. You have a while." Sigh. Oh for the enthusiasm of youth!

In order to preserve my sanity, I allowed the children to fry their brains on television and Wii games. O would occasionally bring me her bucket and ask, "More candy?" She didn't go last year, she was too little.

But finally, finally, the time came. The little girls were nearly dragging their father out the door. A is all grown up now, apparently, and went with some friends. E and I stayed home and held down the fort, happily handing out candy to all the little ghosties and ghouls.

Upon arriving home, the kids had to dump their candy out for inspection. K lined hers up in no particular order, while M segregated his into types of candy. L and O, on the other hand, just started finding her favorite things to eat. Dad and I got lucky and discovered the kids don't like peanut M&M's. I didn't complain one bit.

And so another Halloween has passed us by. Before I know it, I'll be writing about Christmas. Yikes!

The Damage