Saturday, November 21, 2009

FAQ

"You have SIX kids? Holy cow. How do you do it?"

I actually hear this, or something very similar, on a fairly regular basis. It seems that having six kids is equivalent to having two heads or a third eyeball. You should see the looks we get. In response to this question I answer one of the following:

"Sometimes I don't do it."

"One day at a time."

"Very carefully."

And sometimes I just smile and nod. It's not like I woke up one day and suddenly had six kids. It was gradual (I'm not the octomom), and I've made adjustments. I also think many women underestimate themselves.

The next thing I hear is, "I could NEVER do it. I can barely handle my (insert # of children here)."

My response:

"Sometimes I can't either."

"Yup. It's definitely busy."

"I felt the same way when I had (insert # of children person has)."

It's true. It's always hard to imagine handling more than you currently have.

I must admit that at times it probably does look like utter chaos. And sometimes that's exactly what it is. But it's not like I'm some superwoman with mad patience. I've just made adjustments. The old phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff" rings very true when you are outnumbered six to one. The house isn't pristine, the laundry is a constant battle and sleep deprivation is just the norm.

The awesome thing is that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Are you happy?" I get this one with looks of consternation.

I read an article recently debating happiness in families with or without children as well as with larger numbers of children. Now there's a great debate. My response to all the people that think having children brings misery upon a marriage and the world is this: Having children is not easy. But true happiness does not come from easy, it comes from hard work. Children will bring more sorrow, and more joy than anything else you will ever accomplish in your life. Are we happy? Absolutely. Is it hard? You betcha. Is every moment like skipping through the daisies? Not even close.

The world at large needs to reevaluate what happiness truly is. And yes, I am happy.

8 comments:

Julia said...

Love it! I get similar things all the time... and have similar feeling and similar responses. Life is Wonderful... and hard. As my blog says, "My WORK and MY GLORY" 'cause isn't that what it is all about!?

Mrs. Addison said...

I could not agree with you more! We want to have a big family and people already say things about us being crazy. I'm a pretty sarcastic person at times so I'd probably say something silly. ;)

Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo said...

Stacey I love this.

I debate over and over, at my age... 48 in July, to add one more and convince the DH.

My friend M... I've known her since I was 5... has 4 daughters and she said a friend of hers who has 5 children said... in a moment of madness...

"You don't realize you have too many children until you do have too many!".

I think that sums it up nicely, don't you?

Michele said...

Stacey, I'm so proud of you. mom mmm

Jana said...

I hope this post had nothing to do with me lastnight! But I am pretty sure it did!! I say it because you look so young and look fantasitc! Because I think it is truely amazing (in a great way)that you have six kids and you have every reason to be proud of yourself! And your family. A little jealous even...Trent doesnt want any more kids. Being a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding work! I think you are such a fun sweet real person and I am so glad you are my friend!

Susan said...

Most excellent and well said!

Stacey said...

Jana~It only had to do with last night because it got me thinking. I actually get the same questions all the time. I wasn't offended or upset or anything at all and I had a total blast last night!! Thanks for taking me out on the town! Thank you for the wonderful compliments!

Half of a Duo~ I think you should go for one more, but I'm the crazy one with six! LOL

Lori said...

Very well said. I love this post. It is so so true. I think you are right on with everything you said. Keep up the good work!!